


Smile (#40)

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Kylux Dialogue Drabbles [24]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anxiety, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Relationship, Evil Space Boyfriends, Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Phasma tries to be a good friend, hux can't cook tho he tries, self-conscious Hux, tbh the break up last like a minute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8642029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: #40/49 of the first sentence drabbles challenge I'm doing, is completely separate from the rest of the fics in it.Hux tries to be romantic with Phasma's encouragement when he thinks he's an inadequate romantic partner, but despite it actually working, he thinks Ren is just laughing at him and feels even worse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ahh here's this one!! :^) i really like this one so i hope u guys do too  
> -each first sentence dialogue piece comes from this post: http://bubbaknowlton.tumblr.com/post/142980813910
> 
> Dialogue piece: "Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?"

**Smile**

"Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?" Kylo asked, incredulously, laughing slightly. Hux had been laughing as he told him the report about a mission he'd just gone on with one of his knights, where they'd went into a cantina and made complete fools of themselves. He literally couldn't remember the last time Hux had ever smiled at him properly. He smirked, sure, but never given a full, genuine smile.

The lovely smile quickly faded back into a frown. "Well, I was smiling, yes. It's a thing humans do, Ren."

"It's... Really really strange to see you smile, and you laughing is freaky." Kylo made a mental note to tell Hux more knight stories just so he could get another smile out of him. "It looks uncanny, you never do it."

"Of course I do. I do it around Phasma, I did it for a while when the medical droids told me you were okay after Starkiller, I do it with Millicent, and I even do it during the night sometimes when you're asleep next to me and I'm...reminiscing."

Kylo laughed. Hux could sound so impersonal when he talked about anything that didn't make him sound like a strict professional General. Hux's frown deepened. "Just continue with your report." As Kylo continued his story, he noticed the ginger kept the same frowning expression the whole time. When he finished, Hux got up, gave him a curt nod, and then left to go attend to other work.

-

"Phasma, I want you to answer to answer truthfully. Do I look odd when I smile?"

"I mean you do smirk more than you smile, but it looks normal once you realize you're not being judgmental or sarcastic."

"What about when I laugh?"

"Sounds pretty average, boring but genuine. What brought this on, sir?"

Hux sighed. "I laughed and smiled during Ren's mission report and he told me it was 'strange', 'freaky', and 'uncanny' before proceeding to laugh _at me_."

"Sir, with all due respect, Lord Ren sounds like a dick. When did this happen?"

"Moments before I called you down to this room."

"Ah. And how did it make you feel?" Phasma knew the routine Hux liked to go through whenever he was upset about something personal. She'd make it as clinical as possible.

"...Inadequate."

"And why did it make you feel that way?"

"Because it was so unexpected. Smiling and laughing is a basic human response, and since Ren is such a self-proclaimed 'romantic' I always figured he would find such things about me endearing. After hearing him ask 'did you really just smile or am I in an alternate universe?' I thought he would say something poetic. Touch my lips, perhaps."

"That's unhygienic, sir."

"It's supposed to be romantic, Phasma, Ren loves it whenever I touch his lips. It seemed only logical that he would return the gesture at a suitable time. Not... not _insult_ me."

"You usually insult each other a lot, why did it bother you this time?"

"It was unprecedented! We weren't arguing, we were having a nice time together, and I was happy. It was relaxing, and then he just ruined it. It makes me feel as if he truly meant this insult, since our other ones are said out of anger, not truth."

"And that sums up why you feel inadequate?"

"Yes. It's as if he doesn't enjoy seeing me happy and expressing such. It's like the academy and my father all over again, no expressing anything at all or else you're showing weakness. Ren clamors on and on about emotion and passion and expression making oneself stronger, so he's excluding me from what he sees as a stronger more valuable person. I'm beneath him, not his equal. It makes me feel lesser, not useful, as if I'm failing him just by existing."

"I don't know much about relationships but I would assume it's like a two person team. Both need to value each other equally or else they will not succeed."

Hux picked at his glove. "I suppose that means Ren and I aren't right for each other at all. We never did mesh well. I'm too clinical and he's too emotional."

"Both have their pros and cons, sir. You run the _Finalizer_ very well."

"Yes, but that's work. It's me as a person that Ren finds fault with."

"Perhaps you should try to be more... romantic? If you cater to what he enjoys then surely it should make him realize you are capable of matching him."

"Of course. I'll try doing things he's pointed out as being romantic to me. I should start out simple..."

-

The rest of the day Kylo found that Hux's mental shields were up in full force, and if he wanted to pry it would greatly hurt the General. It was a bit disconcerting, now that they were partners Hux had relaxed his mind more and seemed accepting of Kylo skimming his thoughts. It had been a show of trust. He hadn't done anything untrustworthy so he didn't understand why Hux was so guarded. Stress, maybe? Hux did tend to shove him out if he was stressed to try and deal with it by himself.

It was the last shift before Hux would return to his quarters, and Kylo watched him from the doorway of the bridge. He noticed Hux was clenching his fists, nails digging at his palms. The action wore out his gloves, so Kylo walked over when Hux wasn't talking or looking at anyone and grabbed his hands. Hux flushed, glaring at him as he unfurled the man's fingers.

"Don't ruin your gloves, General."

"Ren-! Don't touch me, I'm working!" Seeing Hux get flustered, Kylo chuckled. The ginger was so cute when he was worked up.

"You're as red as your hair, Hux. Learn to control yourself, won't you?"

"Ren!!"

-

"I need to meet with Phasma again, it will be quick, I'll be at my quarters shortly." Hux told Kylo and took off towards where he knew Phasma would be training. 

She was dead lifting, and Hux was admittedly awed by the massive amount of weight she could pick up. "Captain."

"General. You look flushed."

"Really? Still?" It'd been twenty minutes, how could his face still be red? "Kriff..."

"Did Lord Ren make a comment about your face?"

"He's out to humiliate me! He grabbed my hands in front of everyone on the bridge and then had the audacity to tell me to control myself and laugh! I can't stop basic reactions!" He realized something. "He's been making fun of me all this time!"

Phasma set down the weight and sat up. "Does Lord Ren usually comment when you blush, sir?"

"Yes! Makes it out to be some _oddity_! I'm entertainment, aren't I? He enjoys seeing me fumble over simple human things. Maybe I shouldn't go through with the plan..."

"Don't feel insecure now, sir. You can't give up before you even try."

"If he laughs at me again I'm never showing any sort of emotion to anyone but you and Millicent ever again."

"That sounds reasonable, sir."

-

When Kylo woke up, after an odd night of Hux letting him snuggle up to him without making any sort of complaint, which was nice, he found that, one: it was earlier than he usually woke up, and two: Hux was using the small kitchen his quarters held for possibly the first time ever. He stared for a minute, watching Hux look at a datapad and attempt to cook something. Not wanting Hux to see and get flustered in fear it would make him stop cooking, even if he loved seeing how cute the General was all red and embarrassed, he closed his eyes and pretended to fall back asleep.

He opened his eyes again when Hux shook his shoulder, instead of just yelling at him like usual. "Ren?" He sat up. "Ah, good. I made you breakfast. Sorry for waking you up early, I just have no time when you usually get up."

"S'okay. You can cook?" The tips of Hux's ears were red.

"It's not that difficult, it's like engineering, almost. All the parts make up the machine, the meal." Of course Hux would have some analogy for something like cooking. He was still excited to try it anyways. Kylo got up and followed him to the little table, where a tray was set out. He sat down at one end, and Hux sat at the empty, opposite end. "I already ate mine, sorry." Two apologies in less than five minutes, wow.

As he ate, Kylo realized that Hux wasn't that great at cooking, although he'd clearly tried. It was far better than the rations the _Finalizer_ mess hall served, though. He would chose Hux's cooking over rations any day. He also noticed that Hux was trying to avoid staring at him expectedly, waiting for his reaction to the meal but not wanting to show that he was.

It was almost too much, like a dream, Hux finally coming out of his reserved no-nonsense shell. Being domestic.

Once he finished, Hux stared directly at him, face lightly flushed. "Was it alright?"

Kylo chuckled. "Do you want me to be honest?" Kylo joked, and smirked seeing the pink spread. "I liked it." Hux's eyes shone under the praise. "It was pretty bland, but it's the thought that counts, right? You tried really hard. It was quite a sight to wake up to, you cooking like a planetside housewife."

"I see..." There was his usual Hux, always figuring out how to make things better, reviewing everything to improve it tenfold. "I should go, I have a report I need to show Phasma before she starts her rounds today." Hux stood up, grabbed his coat, and left.

There was a meow as the door slid shut and Kylo looked down to see Millicent staring up at him. He looked over at her food bowl. Empty. "Ah, he forgot to feed you." A few hand movements with the force and the bowl was filled with kibble, which she excitedly ran over to munch on.

-

"He laughed and made fun of me! I'm a kriffing fool for ever trying to appeal to him as an equal." Hux felt heartsick. "Insulted me right to my face. Patronized me."

"Is that so, sir?"

Hux nodded, scratching at his palms through his gloves. "Yes! He ate the meal I made, and said he liked it, but then immediately put it down! I know for a fact it wasn't bland, it had plenty of flavor, I ate some myself. It was almost overwhelming, even." The recipe on the datapad had called for more flavoring, but he wasn't going to subject Kylo to an explosion of it in his mouth, so he'd cut everything to a third after tasting some. "He told me 'it's the thought that counts' and 'you tried really hard' like I was some child! Insulted me!"

"What an awful thing to do, sir."

"Exactly! Emotions are a mistake, I should have listened to my father, he was always right, it seems! I'm never trying anything around Ren again. I... I guess I'll have to break it off with him, since it's obviously not working out." He didn't _want_ to, but he had no other choice. It would hurt much more to suffer through life as Ren's free entertainment while pretending they were equal romantic partners, he would get over ending their relationship far faster.

"Good idea, sir."

-

It was a good day, Kylo thought. Waking up to Hux making him breakfast, Millicent not hissing at him, the sonic finally working correctly for him, no new mission from the Supreme Leader, no enemies nearby that could start a battle, and everyone avoiding him and stepping out of his way as he walked through the halls. Nothing was upsetting at all. Surely nothing could possibly go wrong.

After making a peaceful sweep of the ship, Kylo finally went to the bridge so he could relax against the wall and watch Hux work for the rest of the first few shifts. When he stepped in, a few officers saluted and he ignored them, taking his usual spot. Hux was standing at the viewport, looking out at the blue streaks of hyperspace. The color washed over him nicely.

Kylo took a quick look at Hux's surface thoughts when he sensed the barriers were down.

_Need to plan for later- Ren won't mind, surely, calm down- he'll probably expect it-_

Ah, Hux was planning something else for him. He pulled out so he wouldn't spoil whatever surprise Hux had in store for him. The day felt even better with the knowledge that Hux would be doing something else for him today besides making him breakfast. Maybe dinner? Some sort of new activity in the bedroom? Having Hux finally act like a real couple with him was amazing. He could hardly wait.

-

"Ren, I need to speak with you." Hux sounded strangely calm, the façade he put on with other officers. "Will you meet me in my office at the start of next shift?"

"Of course, General." He smiled under his hood. So Hux's mystery plan was going to be unvieled in his office. The next shift was in twenty minutes, he was even more excited, although there wasn't much he could think of them doing in an office.

-

At the start of the next shift, Kylo was at the door buzzing to be let in. The door slid open after his fifth buzz, and he was confused as to why Hux didn't just answer the first time. "You wanted to see me, General."

"Yes... It's- about something important, Ren." Hux took a deep breath. "About... us." Kylo could feel his own excited anticipation rising.

Then it all shattered. "Ren, I think we should break up."

There was a long moment where Kylo just stood there, shocked into silence, processing what he'd just heared. Hux wanted to... break up with them? End their relationship even though it'd been going so well? The redhead was clearly crestfallen, unable to look him in the eye.

"Wha- why?"

"I just... we aren't good for each other, Ren, it's not working out well." Kylo thought it was working very well. He'd just started to get Hux to act more loose around him. Unless it was all an act so he could let him down easy?

"I don't understand."

"You don't treat me like an equal. It's painful for me to be with you, makes me reveal my inadequacies. You act like I'm much lesser of a person than you, and it's not doing any good to my mental state. I'm-" Hux swallowed. "I'm just your entertainment, a big joke for you to laugh at..." The blank expression was quickly fading into one of despair. "I do enjoy your presence, Ren, but you clearly don't return the feeling the same way as I do, and it hurts. It would be much easier, for the both of us, if we-" He was completely frowning, biting at his lower lip. "-if we just... ended it. I'm sorry I wasn't an adequate partner..." Kriff, were those tears in his eyes? "I truly am."

"Hux..."

"Th-thank you for understanding, pl-please... please leave."

How could he not have noticed that Hux felt this way? Where did he go wrong? "I'm not leaving! What did I do wrong?"

"Please, Ren. I- I'm sorry, really. You can find someone better than me. I'll get over it."

"I don't want you to! Hux- I love you a lot, what did I do to not show that?"

Hux crossed his arms. "You always laugh at and make fun of me, first of all..."

"I do?" Kylo wracked his brain for the occurances. He hadn't made fun of Hux in a long time. Unless...? The last few times he'd laughed near Hux, could he have taken it as insults? His comments about his laugh and smile were definitely insult-sounding now that he looked back on them. They didn't get the message across of 'wow this is different but I want you to smile and laugh a ton more' at all. "Oh. I do."

Hux stared at the floor in front of his feet, looking very defeated. "You even admit it..."

No, no, no, no. "Wait! They're not getting what I think across!"

"S-so you mean worse... Just leave... Make fun of me behind my back if you want, not to my face." _This is just like Father and the Academy,_ came Hux's loud thoughts. _Not good enough, useless, pathetic, what could he have ever seen in you, nothing._

"Hux, I'm not making fun of you! I just- I word things wrong. I didn't mean to upset you, I swear!"

"You don't need to lie to make me feel better. I'll be taking my leave." Hux headed towards the door. Kylo panicked and dragged him back with the force. He wrapped his arms tightly around the General, keeping him in place. "Let go."

"No! Not until we clear this up! You've got it all wrong, I never meant to insult you. I really liked seeing you smile and laugh, it was different, but I loved it, I never get to see you happy, I really want to." He nuzzled Hux's neck.

"Stop..."

"I only laugh because I like you so much it makes me nervous. I don't laugh at you." He could feel Hux's hands gripping the back of his robes. "I really liked how you made breakfast this morning. It was way better than anything served in the mess hall."

"You said it was bad."

"No, just my opinion that it was bland. I prefer lots of flavor, but you wouldn't know that, nobody does."

"I thought it had a lot of flavor."

A realization came to him. Nothing the First Order served in its mess halls had flavor, prioritizing nutrition over everything else. "Oh, of course you would think that."

"You're doing it again," Hux muttered.

"No! No, you only eat bland ration food, of course you found the flavor overwhelming, you're not used to it like I am."

"Oh."

"...Is everything cleared up? No ending the relationship?"

"Thank you for explaining. We're fine for now. I need to get back to work and start going over reports."

"I don't want to let go. We don't hug enough."

Hux protested but didn't try to get away, so Kylo knew he was content.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr! @Oblioknowlton


End file.
